


dumb bitch disease

by TheLossOfLove



Category: IT - Stephen King, Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: F/F, Gay, M/M, Richie Tozier and Mike Wheeler Are Cousins, That is all, jk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21663835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLossOfLove/pseuds/TheLossOfLove
Summary: stranger things/it chatficyou know the drill
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris, Dustin Henderson/Lucas Sinclair, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler, Will Byers/Mike Wheeler
Comments: 6
Kudos: 113





	1. dumb gays

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Muffinthepotatoxxx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muffinthepotatoxxx/gifts).



_them gays_

mikewheelchair: hi just got back from my visit in derry

themaxtop: omg how was it

mikewheelchair: it was pretty fun

mikewheelchair: my cousin and his friends are wild

willyweenis: oh no not another one

mikewheelchair: i thought u were bae

mikewheelchair: turns out ur just fam

eggo: omg mike hiii!

mikewheelchair: omg hi el my platonic wife

mistewlucas: hi i still fucking hate my name

dustyboo: lmao

mikewheelchair: anyway yall mind if i add him to the gc??

themaxtop: why not

eggo: sure! :D

dustyboo: why not

mistewlucas: aight

willyweenis: sjdhyus ok

_mikewheelchair added richietoehair to the group chat_

richietoehair: oh shit waddup

mistewlucas: your name is so cursed,,,

richietoehair: ok so now "mistewlucas" gonna preach to us

willyweenis: shuidfhfijkhf

mistewlucas: this is bullying

richietoehair: what were you expecting my guy

eggo: HI

eggo: IM EL

eggo: WHO ARE YOU

richietoehair: ay wassup im richie

eggo: NICE TO MEET YOU

mikewheelchair: el you doin okay there

eggo: I AM FINE

richietoehair:

mikewheelchair: anyways welcome my dud

richietoehair: thx


	2. 3 am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> richie's 3 am wonders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ill add the chat names as soon as the others get introduced lol

_them gays_

richietoehair: [[video.mov]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJTagg3Z7Rs)

mikewheelchair: wh

mikewheelchair: why are you texting the gc at 3 am

eggo: HELLO

eggo: AWAKE NOW YES

mikewheelchair: el are you like

mikewheelchair: okay??

eggo: YES

eggo: VERY OKAY

mikewheelchair: @themaxtop get your gf

themaxtop: el please

themaxtop: is your caps lock on

eggo: YES

eggo: DO NOT REMEMBER HOW TO TURN OFF

themaxtop: ight im coming over

richietoehair: im

mistewlucas: why are yall up

richietoehair: sleep is irrelevant thats why

mistewlucas: bruh go to bed

richietoehair: church is basically jesus con

richietoehair: did you know billions of bugs live on you?

richietoehair: mosquitos inject their saliva into you and thats why they itch

dustyboo: do you do this to all your friends

richietoehair: ofc

mikewheelchair: ok sleep

_mikewheelchair has muted richietoehair_

mikewheelchair: gn yall

eggo: GOOD NIGHT MIKE

themaxtop: el did you break your fucking phone

eggo: I DONT KNOW


	3. the losers!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the losers chat hehe  
> soon they will meet

_gay losers_

richyboy: hello losers

bbbbbbill: hi

edwardspaghedward: fuck you

richyboy: why must you bully me so :(

edwardspaghedward: tis my job

ragingBi: wow rich is getting bullied again

bennyboo: gm bev!

richyboy: wow

richyboy: i see how it is ben

bennyboo: no D:

richyboy: jk ily

micheal: gm i hate all of you equally

richyboy: thanks hon

micheal: yw

staniel: ew

richyboy: ew what

staniel: you

richyboy: stan u kno u love me

staniel: you spelled hate wrong

richyboy: smh what did i do

edwardspaghedward: exist

richyboy: wowww

ragingBi: anyways how is mike doin

micheal: which one

ragingBi: the superior mike

micheal: fuck you

ragingBi: no thx

richyboy: oh he doin gr8

richyboy: i met his freinds

staniel: your spelling is disgraceful

richyboy: your existence is disgraceful

richyboy: anyways im in a gc with them

ragingBi: thats cool

ragingBi: i wanna meet them

richyboy: sure ill ask them later

staniel: i hope they're better than your dumb ass

richyboy: this is biphobia

ragingBi: wow stan is biphobic smh

staniel: im bisexual too you idiots

richyboy: ok and


	4. mama steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the title

_richietoehair to mikewheelchair_

richietoehair: unmute me thot

mikewheelchair: aight

_them gays_

_mikewheelchair unmuted richietoehair_

richietoehair: wake up mother fuckers

mikewheelchair: i have fucked no mothers

dustyboo: where is mom

mikewheelchair: u mean steve

dustyboo: no i mean mom

mikewheelchair: ok steve

_mikewheelchair has added steve to the group chat_

dustyboo: mom!

steve: favorite child!!

mikewheelchair: wowwwwwwwww

steve: least favorite child!!

mikewheelchair: WOWWWWWWWW

richietoehair: whomst

steve: who is this children

steve: i told you not to talk to strangers

dustyboo: mom this is mike's cousin

steve: hmm ok

dustyboo: hold on

_dustyboo has changed steve's name to angry mom_

_dustyboo has added johnny johnny to the group chat_

_dustyboo has changed johnny johnny's name to soft dad_

soft dad: wha

dustyboo: hello father

soft dad: oh no

angry mom: hello ;)

soft dad: pls stop adopting children steve

angry mom: no

angry mom: fuck you

richietoehair: i now see it

richietoehair: oh lordy


	5. the chaos has started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> them losers

_them gays_

richietoehair: ok yall

mikewheelchair: what

richietoehair: who wants to be added to a gc with me friends

richietoehair: its not like you have a choice tho

themaxtop: damn ok

willyweenis: i-

mikewheelchair: all of us in one gc richie?? youre insane

richietoehair: i know

eggo: sure!!!!

mikewheelchair: omg el you fixed your phone

eggo: :D

mistewlucas: i dont wanna be added in to that >:/

richietoehair: you have no choice t h o t

dustyboo: damn

angry mom: more children

soft dad: steve no-

angry mom: steve yes.

soft dad: you cant keep adopting children

angry mom: i do what i want jonathan

richietoehair: ANYWAYS

richietoehair: may the group chat begin

_richie has created a new group chat_

_richie has named the group chat idiot gays_

_richie has added 6+ people to the group chat_

_richie has changed their name to dickard_

dickard: welcome to hell fuckers

eddie: lord have mercy richie what have you d o n e

**Author's Note:**

> hi fuck u


End file.
